Unlovable?

Have you ever felt like you were unlovable? I have. Every experience I had that reinforced this belief became my empirical evidence of its truth. Knowing what I know now, I can see where my thinking was off track. First, it was based on my perception of events, not the events themselves. Second, I never questioned people about what they thought or believed about me. Part of me was too scared that they would confirm my thoughts. Another part was too insecure to ask, wondering what they would think about me even approaching them.

For a large part of my life, I felt like a second-class citizen living in a kingdom of people I could never even imagine measuring up to. I only befriended people who were outsiders like me; I dated whoever showed the slightest bit of interest in me, believing if I didn't, I would be alone for the rest of my life. To please others, I changed myself to be accepted into various groups and found it difficult to be authentic.

Does any of this sound familiar? This does not have to be your legacy going forward. You are lovable! Every person on this planet is worthy of love. Whether or not we accept the love freely given to us is another story altogether. God loves every person. God loved the world so much that He sacrificed His Son to free you from sin. What is sin? Anything we do that God would consider unloving to either God, ourselves or other people. We are all in need of this kind of love!

We are prone to compare ourselves to others, there are only two results from comparison, pride or feeling unworthy. We become prideful when we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves superior to them in some way. We feel unworthy when we compare ourselves to others and find they are better than we are jealous and develop an inferiority complex. Confident people are not wrapped up in comparison, they measure themselves against themselves, rather than others. No two people are the same so placing ourselves in comparison with one another is not effective.

How can we gain this confidence when we have embraced comparison for our entire lives? The answer to that question is simple...but not easy to implement. I find the most important things in life are simple, but not easy. We gain confidence by taking our eyes off what other people are doing, and focusing on ourselves. Seems to simple doesn't it? When you see your own accomplishments and see how far you have come, you realize you are growing and moving forward, this brings with it increased confidence. That's right confidence is the byproduct. If you examine your life and realize you are stuck in a rut, then use it as motivation to do something about it. Deal with the things holding you back and move forward. If you do this a year from now when you look back you will see progress, which will motivate you further with confidence as the byproduct.

This requires honesty with yourself about where you are at, if you are not honest with yourself then you will not grow and you will remain stuck. It also requires you to examine your life and evaluate where you are at. Lastly, I would encourage you do not do this on your own. Our greatest progress in life occurs when we are not doing life alone. Ensure the person or people you let in can be trusted and are able to keep things in confidence. If you don't have people like that in your life currently feel free to reach out to one of our mentors.

Join us at 7pm on April 3, 2025 to discuss these things in more depth along with other things from Connie Blackwood's book "Unlovable?", by clicking the register here button below. We all need to know we are loved, seen and understood, and sometimes we need a reminder of just that! We look forward to seeing you there!

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