For most of my life I did not have any boundaries which caused me many issues in my personal life, relationships and mental health. Most of us were not taught how to exercise healthy boundaries in our lives and as a result we are often taken advantage of, manipulated, put in unhealthy situations and have no idea how we will get out of them.
The more I work with those who are stuck and in destructive situations and teach them what boundaries are, how to implement them for the first time it is like a light coming on in a dark room. At first the primary feeling of those who are learning these tools is fear of what will happen as a result of them honoring themselves and teaching others what is appropriate in relationship to them. They are worried that they will not be able to follow through because the back lash of those in their lives who have controlled and taken advantage of them for years. If they can push past the fear to put into practice all they have learned then the results are always amazing. It is so awesome to watch them take these baby steps into healthy boundaries and when they successfully apply these tools to their lives it is like they have been freed from prison. In fact when they realize how freeing boundaries are they want to establish more.
When you have never had boundaries and then you learn how to successfully use them for your mental and physical wellness it is such a rush of endorphins. It causes you to have a voice and be willing to stand up for yourself. Those that use these strategies continue to do so because they work and have a positive impact on their lives.
However be aware that once you step out to create boundaries for your self that not everyone will be happy with you. In fact at first there will be a lot of back lash from those who have been benefiting the most from you having no boundaries. You must be aware and prepared for when they rise up, you will need to have the determination to not give in to their demands. Stand strong and keep the boundaries you have set up for yourself. Your consistency and determination will cause those in your life who don't like it to realize that in order to be in relationship with you they need to treat you the way you desire to be treated.
Do you find that others take advantage of you?
Do you feel like you don't have a voice?
Are you controlled by others in your life?
Are you needs ignored while you try to meet the needs of others in your life so that they will be happy?
Do you try to say no to others but feel you need to give an explanation, only then to have them convince you to do it anyway?
Do you often feel like you have no choice?
Do you feel resentful and confused as to what to do in most situations?
If you answered yes to some or all of the above questions you may have issues with boundaries. Even if these don't apply to you personally you may know those in your life that struggle in this area. We would love for you to join us Thursday July 7th for our monthly Webinar, where we will be discussing the topic of boundaries. Register by clicking the link below.